So first off- let's get you going on how our brains work – if you take nothing else from this site- this is probably the most valuable. I have written this for you to understand but there is also a kid friendly version in the kids' section.

 

As a species we have incredible brains, they give us the ability to create, innovate, communicate and experience the world around us deeply and meaningfully. However- they are also a royal pain in the bum.

You see as we have evolved as a species, our brains have evolved with us. As a result, we can divide the brain into two.

 

The first is the primitive brain (often also called the reptilian brain) this is the original part of the brain that we had when we were still hunting and gathering and living in a simpler but more imminently dangerous time. We had to hunt for our food and we had to build our own shelter, so we had to battle with predators, harsh climates and genuinely life-threatening dangers. Our brains developed into the perfect survival mechanism, able to respond almost instantly and subconsciously to the threat.  If we saw a tiger- we would react instantly to either fight it off or run like hell.

 

These primitive brains were and still are wired to err on the side of caution.  Better to avoid the path with the long grass in case a tiger is hiding- then take it and hope for the best- its all about survival.

 

The part if this brain which is responsible for our survival is called the Limbic system. It consists of three main parts

 

Amygdala: the alarm system

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Hippocampus: the decision maker

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Hypothalamus: the activator

 

These all sound very fancy and complicated but to put it simply. If you were to encounter a tiger, your amygdala would send out an alert to signal danger, the hippocampus would look for previous experiences of tigers and choose the best possible safety measure- fight, flight or freeze- if it chose to run like hell, then the hypothalamus will kick out all the chemicals needed to help your body to be most effective in getting away- it will make your heart race, your breathing increase, and send adrenaline and cortisol surging around your body.

 

This would be great if we met a Tiger. However, in modern times, people- including our children, can get this life-threatening response to things such as going to school, starting a new job, going on a first date, socialising in groups.

 

The reason this occurs is due to brain number two.

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The intellectual brain is more highly developed in humans than any other species. It is what separates us from other animals.

 

This part of the brain is where our ability to think abstractly, to imagine the future, to recall the past, to take perspective, to be logical, rational and usually positive.

 

We live in a complex society where we are being bombarded with information all the time from phones to televisions, magazines to the 40 different types of cereal in the shopping aisle. Our intellectual brains allow us to process this and continue functioning, it will filter what information is important and what is not.

 

Where the primitive brain reacts instantly based on past behaviours- it learns through trial and error- if one reaction worked once it will try it again next time. The intellectual brain is able to think rationally and logically and consider an appropriate reaction to that situation.

 

When we evolved this part of the brain, we did not lose the old primitive brain. It’s not like we were able to just upgrade. So we have both parts of the brain and they do not always agree.

 

We no longer have to fight off tigers, but we do have to deal with redundancy, bullies,  divorce, poverty, terrorism..the threats have changed but our basic reactions to them stay the same. Fight, flight or freeze. All these reactions, however, are our brains way of protecting us from harm

 

Depression is our primitive brain responding by making us freeze- we become lethargic, our systems shut down and we shelter the storm- it's not useful to us today- but in primitive times, waiting out a storm without food or water meant conserving energy. We were functioning on minimal effort and energy to survive.

 

Anxiety is our flight mode.  We have all felt that feeling when our heart starts to pound and we feel shaky and unable to focus, everything makes us jump. This is because cortisol and adrenaline are pumping through us,  In primitive terms, this will help us run away very fast and keep us alive and safe. However, when we cannot run- because we have to go into the office today, feeling that way is not a pleasant feeling.

 

Anger is our fight mode. Some of us are better at controlling anger than others. Children find it particularly difficult not to react very quickly as their brains do not fully develop impulse control until after they are teens.  However, it has a purpose, in primitive terms, it is there to help us survive through being bigger, stronger and tougher than our enemy.

 

So you can see, these seemingly negative reactions, actually serve a purpose- to our primitive brain, when it senses we are in threat- it has these responses and they usually work to keep us alive- they are necessary for the right context. Without them, we would not be able to emergency break, duck a punch, fight off an attacker. However, problems occur when our primitive brain gets confused and overreacts in an unhelpful situation

 

 

 

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Because they are always learning. Every time we have an experience, we either create a new neural pathway or reinforce an existing one, making it stronger. Either way, the brain is changing- affecting our behaviour.

 

This is good news- as it means we always have the capacity to change- however it also means that behaviours can be learnt very quickly.

 

If we put our hand in a flame, our primitive brain learns fire is hot and hurts and it creates a neural pathway that associates fire with danger and pain- so we avoid putting our hand in it.  Simple?

 

The intellectual brain, however, gives us the capacity to learn avoidant behaviour without directly experiencing it.

 

So, we do not need to throw ourselves off the top of a building to know it won’t end well…we can rationalise and imagine what would happen and that alone is enough to create avoidant behaviours.

 

Unfortunately what this also means- is we can learn through imagination alone and so when we over think- we can make connections that are irrational and not always derived from experience.  

 

Think about the primitive brain as a dog- (you can see where I am going here!). Smart but pretty basic. They hear a firework they run, you tell them off they usually slope off and hide, a dog looks at them the wrong way they bark and growl.  They will respond with fight, flight or freeze because they only have a Limbic system.  

 

What you won’t see, is a dog pondering on that firework and it’s meaning you’re your dog considering that maybe the other dog is just having a bad day. They cannot take perspective or rationalise. The fact that we can is a blessing and a curse.

 

When we are happy, healthy individuals our intellectual brain allows us to override the primitive brain and react with empathy, sympathy, compassion etc. However, when we are not in a good place, it also allows us to dwell and imagine the worst even though it hasn’t happened. It gives us the ability to not live in the moment but to re-live past trauma and worry about a future trauma that hasn’t even happened yet.

 

When we get stuck in this thinking cycle, our brains see threat everywhere and because our brains do not know the difference between imagination and reality- when we ‘think’ about  a threat- in the past or future- our primitive brain reacts as if it is happening to us right there, right now.  In other words this is how we get angry, sad or stressed even when we are not under threat in that precise moment.